Guarded Speech Around Children
Chen Kang asked Confucius' son Boyu, 'Have you heard anything special from your father?' Boyu said, 'Not yet. Once, when he was standing alone and I hurried through the courtyard, he asked, "Have you studied the Odes?" I said no. He said, "Without studying the Odes, you will have no foundation for speech." So I went and studied the Odes.'
This touching passage reveals Confucius as a father—and shows that even the great teacher's interactions with his own son were brief, timely, and shaped by the same values he taught others. Chen Kang had assumed the master's son received special instruction, but Boyu reveals that Confucius taught through the same public principles. The wisdom here is that a parent's words at home shape the child's interior life, just as the Odes shape speech.