Parents, too, can rely heavily on punishments and threats to control behavior. Confucius suggests another emphasis: lead first with your own example and with stable family rhythms. Children who see parents practicing honesty, patience, and self-control, and who live within clear, respectful routines—greetings, meals, bedtimes, ways of apologizing—gradually internalize a conscience that hurts when they do wrong. Discipline still has a place, but it becomes guidance rather than raw intimidation. The goal is not children who are afraid of being caught, but children who are pained by harming what is good.