Parents' Quiet Influence
The Master said, 'While his father is alive, observe the son's aspirations. After his father's death, observe his conduct. If for three years he does not alter his father's way, he may be called filial.'
Confucius offers a test for filial piety: does the child continue the parent's good way even after the parent can no longer watch? The 'three years' is a conventional period of mourning, but the deeper point is that the parent's influence should be so deeply absorbed that it persists in practice, not just in memory. The child who carries forward what is good has truly learned.